Confessions
by ashesisme
Summary: Its been a crazy week in Intelligence. Adam is in jail, the unit is about to be torn apart... and now to top it all off the newly elected crooked mayor of Chicago, Kelton, was just found murdered in his home. This multi-chapter story takes place immediately following the finale, when Jay realizes that Hailey is no where to be found. A lot of Upstead
1. Chapter 1

Confessions- Chapter One

After what felt like the longest day of her life, an exhausted Hailey was finally leaving the precinct for the day. So many thoughts running through her mind. So many questions left unanswered- so many uncertanties. Whats going to happen to Adam? Will he be okay in jail?Whats going to happen to the unit?

Hailey is so deep in thought that the sound of her cell phone ringing makes her jump.

Incoming call from Antonio Dawson flashes across her cell phone screen.

"Why is HE calling me?" she says, annoyed. She knows that Adam is in jail because of Antonio. She might not be dating Adam anymore, but she still cares about him as a person and certainly doesnt want him locked up for something he didnt even do.

"Hey Antonio, whats up?" says a slightly puzzled Hailey.

"Hey... uh... I'm really sorry to ask, but is there any way you could meet me somewhere right now?" Antonio says. Hes talking fast, she can tell that hes nervous.

"Um, I guess I can do that. Mind telling me what I'm meeting you for?" asks Hailey.

"I just... uh... I just need your help. I didnt have anyone else to ask, I'll explain in person." he replies.

"Okay, where?"

"The abandoned storage building off 53rd" says Antonio.

"Okay, I'll be there in 20. Should I have Jay meet us there?"

"NO! Please dont. Please just come alone" Antonio pleads before hanging up the phone.

She can tell by the desperation in his voice that he is in some trouble. She doesnt understand why he called her of all people. Afterall, out of everyone in the unit, she is the last person he shouldve turned to for help, outside of being coworkers they really dont even know each other.

She pulls in the dark parking lot and the sketchiness of the location mixed with the nervousness in Antonios voice has her worried. She might not be close with him, but she does trust him, so that eases her mind a little. But just incase anything happens, she figures it would be best to text Jay just letting him know where shes at and who she is with.

"Hey. Kinda weird situation came up. I'm meeting Antonio at the old storage building. I'm fine, just wanted someone to know where I am, just incase something crazy happens"- Hailey hits send on her text message and tosses her phone in the passengers seat.

Antonio is sitting on the curb with his head in his hands, unsure of how to even start the conversation.

"Whats going on Antonio, what do you need help with?" Hailey says immediately upon seeing him.

"And why did you call me of all people?"

He looks up at her and she sees the tears in his eyes starting to form. He starts rambling, almost inaudibly. A mixture of not being able to find the words to say what he needs to say and the fact that the pills he took tonight are still fresh in his system.

"Antonio... seriously? Are you high right now? Give me your gun, right now." She demands...

He gives it to her right away, he might be high but he understands her concern.

"And your car keys" she says.

"I took a few pills tonight because the guilt of Adam getting arrested is eating me alive. Which is why I called you. I need your help. I know you already know what went down... I cant sleep, i cant eat. I just want to make things right." He says, with his voice breaking up as he fights the tears.

As upset with him as she was over Adam taking the fall, she definitely feels for the man. She cant imagine what she wouldve done in the same situation... She drops her tough cop temperment and sits next to him on the curb.

"Okay. How do you want to do it?" she asks softly.

"I want to turn myself in. I am going to make a deal with the investigators. I will tell them everything they want to know if they drop all charges against Adam. I called you because I couldnt bring myself to have this talk with Kim, Kevin, Voight, or Jay. I just couldnt do it. I've worked with them for so many years. I am too ashamed that I used again."

"So why not just drive and turn yourself in, I dont mind helping you, I am just having trouble understanding what you needed my help with" she says.

"I want to do this with a clear mind. I dont want to go in there high. I'm scared that if I waited to sober up all alone I would change my mind about the whole thing... even though this is what I want. This is what needs to happen... and I just cant do it alone."

Shes starting to understand. He called her because shes the least closest person to him. He doesnt want to hurt anyone any more than he already has.

"Okay. I'm here. We will do this together" she assures him.

"Well, I dont know about you but if we have a few hours to kill I am starving. Theres a Portillo's a block away from here- my treat". Hailey says with a half smile.

"See, I knew I called the right person" Antonio says.

As soon as they get in Haileys car she checks her cell phone and realizes her text to Jay never went through. Her cell phone signal is terrible where they are. Oh well, she figures... everything will be fine, she assumes Jay is already in bed anyways, given the exhausting week they have had.

Jay, Kim and Kevin walk out of Kelton's house, all three in shock with what they have seen.

"Well this will be tough. When so many people would be better off without Kelton screwing with their lives, our list of possible suspects is going to be huge" Kevin says.

"Hey Jay, where is Hailey?" A concerned Kim asks. "And has anyone heard from Antonio? He isnt answering my calls".

"And wheres Voight?" Kevin quickly adds.

"I have no idea. I'm actually starting to worry. I've called her three times but it keeps going straight to voicemail"

Jay knows what Voight said, about doing what needs to be done... but did he really do THIS?! He wonders... that thought is quickly overshadowed by his worry for his partner. Where is she and why isnt she answering his calls... He knows something must be up.

"Hailey- where are you? Kelton was murdered. Its just me Kev and Kim here, nobody knows where voigt is, or you. What in the world is going on. Please call me when you get this so I know you are okay."

He feels bad leaving a third voicemail on her phone, but this is not like her at all. There are so many things going wrong right now... Adam is in jail, Voight and Antonio are MIA... Kelton- the mayor of Chicago was just murdered... yet all he can think about is his partner.

He snaps out of his thoughts for a minute to be the leader Voight trusts him to be. Afterall, Voight did tell him today that the unit will be his one day.

"Okay... Lets head out, let forensics do their thing and we will meet back at the district tomorrow morning".

"Sounds like a plan" says Kevin as they head to their vehicles to leave.

Its been two hours since they left Kelton's house. Jay has checked his phone repeatedly hoping for something, anything, to let him know that Hailey is alright.

"I'm sure its nothing...", he tries to convince himself. It doesnt help, he cares about this woman on a deep, deep level. He knows she is more to him than just a partner. She's his best friend. Shes the person he wants around at the end of a tough day...Shes the person he wants around at the end of a good day.. or any day for that matter. Heck, Shes the person he will follow no matter what happens in the unit, he goes where she goes. He's already made up his mind about that.

He tries her phone one more time with no luck.

"Damnit Hailey" he says as he grabs his keys and heads out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Confessions- Chapter Two

Hailey and Antonio have been sitting at the restaurant for two hours laughing and sharing old cop stories like two old friends. Hailey has been doing everything she can to keep his mind off of what is about to happen when she takes him in.

They go back and forth trying to one up the other with "Worlds dumbest criminal" experiences they have seen throughout their career.

Antonio is mid sentence, laughing hysterically trying to tell his next story when Jay walks in. His panicked facial expression quickly changes when he sees Hailey and Antonio laughing and carrying on like two people on a date. He breathes a huge sigh of relief just knowing she is okay.

He quickly turns around and heads to his car hoping neither one of them saw him there. The whole drive back to his apartment he tried wrapping his head around whatever was happening at that restaurant. Was it... a date? he wondered... That doesnt make sense. They rarely even speak to each other. But what if it was?!

The more he thinks about it the more frustrated he gets. Did they both seriously ignore the calls about a crime scene because they were hanging out... with each other?! And if it was a date, he doesnt even know what to think about that. He wants Hailey to be happy more than anything in the world... and he hasnt been ready to admit it before, but after the scare he had tonight worrying about where she was, he knows more than anything now that his feelings run way deeper than friendship with her... and if it WAS a date that he walked in on, well then thats no good at all, because he knows deep down that she belongs with him. They belong together, and hes to the point where he cant keep fighting that anymore... He swore he would never let himself fall for another partner. But its way too late for that now.

He heads to bed happy that shes okay, but still really confused. He's trying hard not to jump to too many conclusions before he gets the chance to talk to Hailey tomorrow.

"Well, its getting late, I think its time Antonio"... Hailey says, sadly.

"I'm ready. Lets do this." Antonio says, with as much confidence as he can muster.

She drove him to the location that he arranged to meet the investigator.

"Thank you for being there for me tonight. I just couldnt put this on Kim. I didnt want to get her involved. Please tell everyone I am sorry. Also, if you dont mind, please call this number and ask for Peter Stone. Tell him I am going to need his help. I didnt call him myself because I knew he would talk me out of doing what I am about to do."

"Will do... and no problem at all Antonio. Everything is going to be okay." she says reassuringly.

As she pulls away she notices the flashing light on her phone.

"Oh my Gosh... five voicemails? What in the world?" she says outloud as she realizes all the calls that came in while she had no signal.

"Hey its Jay. We got a case... meet me at Keltons house"... voice mail number one.

"Hey... where are you? We are at Kelton's and you arent here. Hope everythings okay." Voicemail number two.

"Hailey- where are you? Kelton was murdered. Its just me Kev and Kim here, nobody knows where voigt is, or you. What in the world is going on. Please call me when you get this so I know you are okay."

She listens to each one. Her poor partner was worried sick- and holy crap! Kelton is dead?

"Oh no" she says... She feels bad for leaving everyone hanging.

She loves how protective he is. She knows that he is and will be there for her through any and everything, and she couldnt ask for a better partner... But he is more than a partner to her and she knows it. Jay Halstead isnt just her partner, he's her best friend.

"Hey its Jay again. Sorry for all the messages. I know everything is okay, so I'm heading to bed. We are meeting at the district in the morning".

As soon as she walks in to work the next morning she heads straight for Jay.

"Hey can we talk?" she says. She wants to let him know what all went down with Antonio last night- before she has to go over it with the team.

"Yeah, we definitely need to talk" Says Jay.

He follows her into the locker room and before she even has a chance to speak Jay says "So, wheres Antonio? Guess he had a late night?"

Woah... she thinks.. the way he said that... almost like he was implying something.

"What do you mean?" she asks

"Look Hailey... I saw you two together last night... at Portillos... Laughing and having a good time. I started to panic when you werent at the crime scene, and when you didnt answer your phone I was getting more and more worried... With everything going on this week I started thinking the worst... So I came up here to the district and pinged your phones last location... and drove around until I saw your car... I was so happy that you were okay, but when I saw you both laughing and carrying on I realized what was going on, and headed home... anyways, you dont have to tell me anything.. I just want you to be happy... I didnt really see this coming, but like I said, I just want you to be happy".

"Wow.. really Jay? Umm... Okay. Well thanks for that I guess"... she says sarcastically. "Pretty great assumptions you've made, you definitely have everything all figured out... Guess we have nothing to talk about..."

Hailey walks up to the board to talk to Kevin, Kim and reluctantly, Jay.

"I'm really sorry I wasnt there last night... and I'm even more sorry for what I have to tell everyone." She says, hesitantly.

"Antonio called me last night saying he needed help with something. I didnt really understand it at first, but now I do. He didnt want to put it on any of you, and since him and I are not very close he felt more comfortable coming to me, knowing it wouldnt hurt me as badly.

When I got there to meet him he had already taken some pills. He was pretty high, and rambling on and on about what he needed to do. He said he couldnt do it alone.. so I took his gun and his car keys from him and stayed with him until he sobered up. I had no cell phone service where we were, and didnt even realize anyone had called me until much later. I cant go into detail, this is one of those the less you know the better types of situations, but he is responsible for Adam being in jail- and the guilt of that is killing him. So he turned himself in and made a deal so that the charges against Adam will be dropped. He wanted you all to know how sorry he is for using again, and for what happened to Adam"

As she walked back to her desk she looked up at Jay who looked absolutely shocked. She knew he felt like crap for the wrong assumptions he made, but she was still frustrated with him for it.

The four of them ran through the details of the Kelton murder several times trying to start piecing things together.

Hailey headed for the break room to make some coffee. Jay quickly followed after her, trying to take this opportunity to apoligize.

"Hailey..." Jay says...

"I really dont want to hear it right now Jay. I'm tired, its been a long week. I just want to fix my coffee in peace and focus on this case... because when I stop to think about what you said it really hurts me that you would even think for a second that I would ignore your phone calls and let you worry like that for hours just so I could go on a date with some guy...and the fact that you think that I even want to be out on a date with someone el..." she stops herself before she says too much... She so badly wants to say that he is the only man she wants to be out on dates with... but she knows this is not the time nor the place... Maybe some day, but not now... Not while shes mad.. not like this.

Before Jay could even get another word out Platt rushed into the bullpen.

"Brennan is downstairs, she says she wants to speak with all of you... right now"...

"Also, we just got the call that three patrol officers have been shot in the last hour. Somebody is targetting cops, and I have a feeling Kelton's gang bangers have something to do with it" Platt says, as Brennan follows her up.

"Shes right. They are targetting cops right now. After what happened..." Brennan says.

"Kelton's death?" Jay says... "Why would Kelton's death make his gangbangers that worked for him want to kill cops?"

"Because I'm a cop... and they found out that I'm the one that killed him" she replies.

"Holy shit... this week just keeps getting crazier and crazier" Kevin says.

"You can arrest me. I know what I did. I know whats going to happen. I guess being in here is safer for me than being out there at least". Brennan says.

"Kim and Kevin- you two please get on the computers, track Voights phone, his car... We need to figure out where he is. With everything going on we need everyone we can get. Hailey and I will hit the streets trying to help take these people down. Nobody goes dark. I cant have anyone else missing. Keep your heads down, dont get hurt. Everybody goes home tonight". Jay says after putting the handcuffs on Brennan.

Jay and Hailey head to the car. The entire drive nobody says a word... Neither one of them sure of what to say to break the ice after the mini argument they had in the break room. Both of them having so much that they want to say- but just cant figure out how to make the words come out. No matter what they have been through this week, nothing at all could prepare them for what was about to happen.

Thank you all for reading so far- this is my first multi-chapter fic. I have been thinking about this one for a while now, and look forward to updating with many chapters to come. I did not do much proof reading, since its almost 3am and im falling asleep, so nobody judge my typos :)


	3. Chapter 3

Confessions- Chapter 3

"Really? Gross" Adam says, looking down at his lunch. "Well, there's no way I'm eating that... guess i'll lose a little weight during this vacation stay in jail."

"You too good for that food pig?" Says Torres, a drug dealer that Adam locked up a few years back.

He picked up Adams tray and dumped it on his head.

"Seriously. Not today asshole. Not today" Adam says as he picks a chair up, hitting the man in the head.

Torres' buddy comes and holds Adam as the fight escalades in the lunchroom. Torres gets several punches in before guards are able to break it up.

They move Adam to solitary confinement for hitting him with the chair, but also to keep him safe, since it is now known that he is a cop.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the district Kim and Kevin were hard at work doing what they were told to do.

"So... Have you heard from Voight?" Burgess says to Platt. "We havent seen him or heard from him since he stormed out of here last night. We are getting a little worried".

"Oh... about that. With everything going on I forgot to mention that he called. Olive called him last night and asked if he could meet her in Indiana with Daniel, she said it was an emergency and she needed someone to watch him for a few days. You know Hank. He will take any chance he can to spend time with that little boy. After the week we had he didnt even think twice, just headed straight there." Trudy said.

"Seriously? Well thanks for letting us know" Kim says, slightly annoyed that nobody mentioned it to them.

"Well Burgess, everyone needs time off sometimes. Dont worry, he is aware of what happened to Kelton and he knows that the unit is in good hands with Jay. I know how to get ahold of him if I need to."

"Kevin- I found him. He's with the only thing more important to him than the unit... his grandson."

Before Kevin even had a chance to respond they hear Jay's voice come over the radio.

"Fifty Twenty One George we have shots fired on the corner of Roosevelt and 19th street. Requesting immediate back up. Plain clothes officers are in pursuit on foot. I repeat, we have shots fired on the corner of Roosevelt and 19th. Plain clothes officers are on foot in pursuit.."

* * *

Jay slams on the brakes when he hears the gunshots. Multiple shots fired near the courthouse. People running in every different direction screaming.

Jay and Hailey run towards the noise trying to take down the shooters when they see two young males turn down an alley way. They run as fast as they can, decreasing the distance between them and the suspects. The suspects split into different directions going down seperate small alleys. Jay has almost caught up with his guy when the man turns with his gun raised. Jay fires one shot and the man hits the ground.

"5021 George shots fired by police. One offender is down. Send a bus."

Jay sees another patrol officer coming and leaves him with the suspect so that he can go help his partner.

As he is running as fast as he can to find her he hears a loud "pop, pop". He turns the corner to see the second suspect running, with no sign of his partner. He finally catches up to the second offender and takes him down. As soon as he turns around he sees her, laying on the concrete, blood pooling beside her.

"HAILEY" he screams as he runs to her.

"OFFICER DOWN, I REPEAT OFFICER DOWN CLEAR THE STREETS GET A BUS IN HERE RIGHT NOW" He yells over the radio.

It felt like his whole world ended in that very moment. It was like time stopped, it felt like his heart stopped beating in his chest.

He gets to her and holds pressure on the wound. "Stay with me Hailey. You are going to be okay stay with me. LOOK AT ME HAILEY. Stay with me." He says, desperation and fear in the sound of his voice.

It wasnt long after that he saw Brett and Foster running to aid.

"We got her, we got her" Foster says, basically prying him off of her so they can do their jobs.

Jay turns around and sees the offender that he handcuffed and immediately makes his way to him. He throws him to the ground, punching him in the face until another officer breaks him off of him.

"If she doesnt make it you are going to wish you were dead you bastard. You better hope she makes it" He screams at the suspect.

"Jay lets go" Yells Brett, "You can ride with her, lets go".

* * *

The whole ride to med felt like the longest ride of his life. He held her hand and kept telling her how sorry he was that he wasnt there to protect her. He knows deep down they did everything right, but still felt guilty for not being there by her side.

They are quickly greeted at the ambulance bay by Will and April.

"Shes lost a lot of blood, vitals are stable for now, but we need to find this bullet and assess the damage" Will says, trying to calm Jay the best he can without knowing too much just yet..

"Will... please. Please dont let her die. I cannot lose her Will" Jay says, pleading with his brother.

"We are going to take good care of her Jay" Will says.

"I need some O neg in here stat, portable abdomen xray, and somebody page Connor" Will tells April.

"Jay you have to wait out in the hall, you cant be in here for this" Will says

"Not a chance in hell that I'm leaving her side Will. I did that once today and look where we are now."

"Clear the room for xray" the tech says before taking the image.

"xrays up. Okay, looks like the bullet went through the vest and is sitting beside the left kidney. Doesnt look like it hit anything major, but we need to go in and get that bullet out to stop the bleeding."

"her vitals are dropping" says April.

"Beep, beeeeep, beeepppppppppppp" the beeps in the monitors getting louder and louder.

"Alright call upstairs, we need an OR cleared stat" Will says

"Connor is coming, they are ready for her upstairs".

Jay stands there and watches them rush her down the hall. He keeps going over the events from those few minutes, overanalyzing every second. How could he let this happen to her.

"Come here Jay, you can wait in here." Maggie says as she takes him to a seating area. "She's in good hands".

* * *

He sat in that chair for what felt like an eternity with no update. Every possible thought going on in his head. Doing everything he can not to break down in tears at any moment at the thought of losing her. He looks up and sees Connor coming down the hall. He quickly stands up in anticipation for whatever he is about to tell him.

"She lost a lot of blood. But we were able to stop the bleeding. The next 24 hours will be critical to see how she does. Shes sleeping now, you should go home and get some rest"

"There is no chance that I am leaving her, what room is she in?" Jay asks, as he starts heading for the elevator.

"224" Connor says to Jay as the elevator doors close.

_****Thank you all for the kind reviews. I hope you enjoy chapter 3. I will have chapter 4 published in the next few days. I have a lot of plans for this story and hope everyone likes it!****_


	4. Chapter 4

Confessions- Chapter 4

It had been a long hard night for Adam after what happened to him the night before. He finally falls asleep after tossing and turning all night on the uncomfortable prison bed. He knew prison life wouldnt exactly be a walk in the park, but he didnt realize it would be _this_ bad.

The sound of a mans voice in the distance is causing him to stir in his sleep. He tries turning over and ignoring it but it just keeps getting louder.

"uhh, my head hurts" He says to himself, putting his hand to his forehead before opening his eyes. A nice mixture of lack of sleep and getting punched in the face the day before has caused him a splitting headache.

He hears the mans voice again, much clearer this time.

"Time to get up, you are free to go" says a prison guard.

"Umm. What? How?" asks Adam.

"I have no idea, just doing what I'm told and coming to get you" The guard says.

"Well okay I guess" Adam says, relieved yet confused.

He follows the guard to a room where he is processed out and given his personal belongings. The whole process takes what feels like forever.

As he is walking out the door he sees Kim standing there ready to greet him.

"Well, was it everything you ever dreamed it would be?" She says, trying to make light of the situation. But in all honesty, she didnt even have to make a joke to make him crack a smile. It still makes his heart skip a beat just to see her. Kim Burgess will always have that effect on him, and he knows it.

"Eh, it was alright" He says, showing her his black eye.

"Ahh, didnt go so well for you in there did it Rocky? Well, you are out now and thats all that matters". Kim says.

"Yeah, about that... how am I out? What happened?" he asks.

She thinks for a minute before responding. She doesnt know much about it, and certainly not enough to give him the answer he is looking for.

"So... theres a lot that has happened in the last few days. I'm really not sure, to be honest... All I know is we are really short in the unit right now and we could really use some help. So you will have to get your answers later"

He accepts her answer,at least for now he accepts it, as they get in her car to leave.

"We have to stop by Med to check on Hailey before we head to the district". Says Kim, it totally slipped her mind that he has no idea what happened to Hailey.

"What?! What happened to Hailey?" Adam replies.

She spends the rest of the drive bringing him up to speed on everything he has missed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

beep. beep. beep. beep.

She starts hearing it, over and over and over again as she starts to open her eyes.

The last thing she remembers is being put in the ambulance after being shot.

As she starts to come to she sees her partner passed out in the chair beside her bed. She tries to talk but it hurts her throat from the tube that was in.

"Did we get them?" she asks in a raspy whisper.

Jay starts to wake up and lights up when he sees that she is awake.

"You are awake!" He says. "We did get them. You scared me to death. I thought I was going to lose you".

Hailey half smiles at him and grabs his hand as Will walks in the room.

"Look who decided to wake up!" Will says. "The bullet that hit you luckily did not hit any vital organs. You did go into surgery to remove the bullet and to repair the damaged blood vessels and stop the bleeding, but the surgery was successful. So far your vitals have remained stable and as..."

"How long" She interrupts him, still having a hard time getting words out. She coughs trying to clear her throat which sends an intense pain to her abdomen.

"Try not to talk too much" He replies. "and definitely do not try to cough. You will have a sore throat for a few days from the intubation tube. If you are asking how long you will have to stay here, well that just depends on you. I want to keep you here at least two more days so you can regain some strength, and to monitor for signs of infection. You will be pretty weak for a while, but you got very, very lucky."

"Thanks Will" says Jay. So relieved that his partner is still alive.

"No problem. Jay I brought you a change of clothes and some other things I figured you would need. I knew you wouldnt be willing to leave. I will be by to check on you again in a few hours. Try to get some rest" he says while walking out of her room.

"Oh thank goodness, I know i stink pretty badly at this point", he says jokingly... he quickly gets more serious as soon as he makes eye contact with those beautiful blue eyes of hers.

"Hailey" Jay says softly. "I shouldve never gone the other way and let you go down that alley alone. I hate that this happened to you"

"I'm a cop Jay. This couldve happened whether you were there or not" she says, hurts to say all those words, but the last thing she wants is for him to feel like this was his fault in any way. Seeing the sincerity and hurt in his eyes was hard for her. Something about the way he looks at her. Its like they can talk to each other just through their gazes. She loves that about him. She loves how comforted she feels knowing he is right there beside her. He is the one person in this world that can make her feel better, no matter what she is going through. She loves that hes the one by her side.

The nurse came in and administered her next dose of pain medication.

"Wow, that works fast" she says.

"Am I supposed to feel this... fuzzy?" as she releases Jay's hand to look at her fingers.

"My fingers feel funny. And my legs. Wow thats good stuff".

Jay laughs at her silliness.

She starts drifting off, whatever pain meds they are giving her make her really tired. She knows she is a little loopy from the medication but she still has things she wants to say to him so she is fighting sleep with everything she has..

"Hey Jay..." She says, looking up at him... "I'm glad its you that is here with me"

"I dont know how many times I have to remind you, but I go where you go" He says playfully.

"These meds are strong, I'm going to go to sleep before I say something I shouldnt". she says.

"Maybe you should say whatever you are thinking?" He says, intrigued by whatever she is thinking about.

Her thoughts are all over the place... "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him, is that what he wants to hear... because i'm pretty sure that will make it awkward at work" she thinks to herself... "or does he want to hear the dirty stuff?. because theres plenty of that too..." she laughs as she thinks to herself...

All she can think about is how badly she wishes she could jump out of that hospital bed, pull Jay close to her and kiss him... she wants to put her hands all over him. She has never wanted someone as badly as she wants Jay. She knows the medicine is making her feel a little crazier than normal, so she chooses to stay quiet instead of saying what shes thinking... She smiles as she starts drifting off while imagining all of their clothes in a pile on the floor...

If Jay only knew what was going on in that womans mind...

Jay decides that now is a good time to get some food in the hospital cafeteria. As hungry as he is, hes kind of bummed she fell asleep... He was enjoying seeing her silly like that... and was hoping to hear whatever she thought she shouldnt say...

"Adam!" Jay says, giving him a quick bro hug in the hallway of the hospital. "Glad to see you got out man".

"Yeah! How is she?" Adam replies.

"She's actually doing really well. She woke up not too long ago, talked a little, fell back to sleep... Will says everything looks great so far and that she got really lucky".

"Oh thank goodness" says Kim. "Well, just to let you know we got the suspect to talk and it was only the two of them that were aiming at cops. "Apparently they were living a pretty good life working for Kelton and they werent too happy when he was murdered. He actually told us a lot about Kelton that we didnt even know. There is going to be an emergency election in a few weeks. Until then the old Mayor is going to continue as acting Mayor."

"That makes sense" says Jay.

"Well, if shes sleeping now and doing well can you just let her know we stopped by?" says Adam. "We are going to head to the district to help Kevin out".

"Voight said to tell you he is on his way back, to not worry about anything and stay with your partner as long as you need" Kim says. "Platt reached out to him after Brennan turned herself in and cops started dropping, she figured that was enough of an emergency to end his few days away".

"I'd say so" said Jay. "Alright, I'll see yall back at work soon".

Jay finally makes it to the cafeteria... The food is so much better than he remembers it being but he assumes its because he hasnt eaten in almost 24 hours.

He heads back to her room to get comfortable in his chair.

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Three days have passed and shes finally starting to feel strong enough to head home.

"Okay, no sign of infection still, each day you've become a little stronger, finally up and walking around a little. I'd say if you are ready to head home, I am ready to sign off on it. Remember, you are desk duty for the foreseeable future. At least a month... After the month has passed we will do a Fit for duty exam and make sure you are good and ready to be back... This isnt something you can rush."

"Right" says Hailey, with zero intentions of being stuck behind a desk for an entire month.

"He is right. Desk duty for you. Not letting you rush your way out of this one wonder woman" Jay says.

"Also, you might need someone to stay with you, at least for the first few days" Will says, looking straight at Jay.

"No, really guys, I'm fine. I can handle this. Jay you have done enough already, I'm sure you are super tired of me by now" she says.

"Well, whatever you say Hails.." replies Jay. "But you have my phone number if you end up needing me".

"Yep... Now lets get out of this place" she says. I am dying to sleep in my own bed"

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Jay helps her into her house and gets her settled on the couch. She is so happy to be home.

"Okay, heres your water, your antibiotics, your pain meds, the remote, the..."

"Jay... I really can do all of that" she says...

"Oh I know you can... But I'm here right now so if you want me to be okay with leaving you here I am going to make sure everything is easy for you to get and that you have everything you need".

She doesnt argue with him. As much as she enjoys trying to act like a badass independent woman, she still loves how much he cares about her and secretly doesnt even want him to leave. She loves when he is around. She just refuses to admit it just yet.

"Okay. I think thats everything. You are all set. Promise me you will call me if you need anything...I wish you werent being so stubborn though, you know I can stay if you want me to..."

"I'm fine Jay, I really am... and I promise" she says...

"Hey Jay..." she says, as he is turning to leave.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For everything. For staying with me..." she has so much more she wants to say.

"Anytime.." he says before he leaves to head home. He was hoping she wouldve asked him to stay. He is tired and he does miss his bed, but if given the choice, being with Hailey is always his favorite place to be, no matter where that is.

It doesnt take her long sitting there on the couch in her empty house to be sad that he left. He has been by her side for several days now... she got used to having him around all the time.

"Uhh Damnit" she says as she reaches for her phone. "ow ow ow, couldnt put it any closer could ya Jay" she says, bending forward in pain.

It hadnt even been 20 minutes since he got in the car to leave that he heard his phone go off.

"Okay. You can come back now". The text message from Hailey flashes across his screen.

He smiles and makes a U-turn in the middle of the road to head back to his partner.

As soon as he opens the door she smiles. "Okay okay, I'll admit it.. I'm stubborn". she says.

"You got that right" he says, taking his spot on the couch.

"So did you need something, or did you just miss me already?" he asks, expecting a sarcastic playful response..

She looks up, making eye contact with him and her first thought is "Well actually.. _I have everything I need now that you are here Jay"... _ She wishes she had the guts to actually say that out loud..." can you get me some tea... I'm kind of tired of water, its all i've had for days." she chooses to say instead...

He gets her tea and she feels that same shooting pain in her abdomen when she leans forward to set her glass on the table... She takes two of the pain killers Will sent her home with to help take the edge off.

They spend the next hour talking about past experiences from before they started working together. Pain medication in full effect, which makes the conversation extra comical at times.

"I'm sleepy" she says, both comfy on the couch, heads turned towards each other not even a foot apart. "I want..." she starts to say something, but stops herself...

"You want to go to bed?" Jay asks, assuming thats what she was going to say.

"No... Well yes... but no..." she says, torn on whether to blurt out what she is holding in...

"I want to kiss you" she says, looking right at him. She figures at least if he rejects her she can just blame it on the drugs...

Jay smiles. "Alright Hails lets get you to bed. I think the medicine is taking over now"

"Oh it is" says Hailey, smiling that sweet half smile that he loves so much.

"Dont remind me that I said this tomorrow, i'll be pretty embarassed... but just between you and me...I always want to kiss you, medicine or not..." She says, laughing at herself.

"Okay now I'm ready to go to bed... now that I got that off my chest" she says, still cracking up that she actually told JAY that she wanted to kiss him.

Jay hasnt moved... he is still staring at her, so conflicted. Theres nothing he would love more at that moment than to kiss her. To kiss her and never ever let her go again. He smiles at her and pushes her hair behind her ear that keeps falling in her face...

He stands up to help her to her bed. Once she is settled he leans over and sweetly kisses her forehead.

"Just so you know... I always want to kiss you too..." he says before heading to the couch for the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Good morning sunshine" Hailey says, waking Jay as she opens the curtains...

She's up and moving, doing a little better than the day before.

"nooooooo... go back to sleep woman... its too early" Jay says, putting the pillow over his head to block the sunlight...

"Sorry but... its time for you to wake up... I actually might go back to sleep, but its time for you to wake up" she says.

Jay slowly pulls the pillow from over his eyes to look at her...

"They need you at work Jay... I am feeling really good today, I can get up and walk a little easier, I feel a little stronger. It just seems unfair for me to keep you here all to myself when they could really use your help." Hailey says. Its true, and they both know it... Only thats really not the reason she is trying to get him to leave.

"Okay okay.. I'm up I guess" he replies, standing up from the couch with nothing on but a pair of shorts, only reaffirming Hailey's decision to get him to leave, no matter how badly she wants him to stay.

_ .gosh. _She thinks to herself, trying hard not to keep looking at him with his shirt off. She remembers the words he said last night, It has ran through her mind at least 100 times since he said it... _I always want to kiss you too... _HIs friendship, his partnership, is the most important thing in the world to her... She doesnt want anything to mess that up... but she knows that every minute that passes it is becoming more and more impossible for her not to act on her feelings for him... and after last night she realizes he has been fighting the same battle, not acting on his feelings for her.

"Theres cereal in the cabinet, help yourself..." she says, trying to be as short as possible before heading back to her bed.

"Are you sure? Do you remember what happened last time I tried to leave? Should I wait in the driveway for a little while before I leave to make sure you arent going to make me come back?" He says, teasing her a little.

"I will be fine, I promise" she says, trying to reassure him.

"OKay, well I'll be back later" Jay says... "Pick a good movie for us".

"About that.. I forgot to tell you that Kim texted me and wants to have girls night tonight. We are watching Miss Congeniality... But you are welcome to join us. We might even paint your toe nails!"

"Oh... umm... nope... I think I'll have to pass on that one... but you ladies have a great time!" Jay says, before showering and heading in to work reluctantly.

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Its 7pm and Hailey hears the knock at the door.

"Hailey" Kim calls out. "Just wanted to let you know I'm letting myself in, Jay gave me the key so you wouldnt have to get up and let me in... so dont shoot me"

"Wow shes literally right on time, I'm impressed" Hailey says, laughing at Kim's puncuality.

"Come in Kim, I wont shoot" Hailey says, laughing.

"I'm so excited, its been a long long time since I had a girls night like this!" Kim says, walking inside, dressed in her PJ's and carrying some pizza.

They watch the movie and laugh and talk for hours. It has been such a nice break from real life, they both really needed it more than the other realizes.

"So whats Jay up to tonight, was he upset that he didnt get to have a sleepover again?" Kim asks

"Eh, I have no idea. Whatever guys do I guess.. Probably playing xbox with Kevin" Hailey says, jokingly. "I invited him to come to girls night, told him we would even paint his toenails but he wasnt interested".

"You know I'll be honest... I was a little confused when you and Adam started whatever it was that was going on with you two... some of that had to do with my history with Adam, but also because I always thought there was something going on with you and Jay" Kim says, catching Hailey off guard. "I guess I just didnt see it coming".

"Nothing has ever happened between Jay and I" Hailey says, trying to leave it at that.

"Is that because you dont want it to, or because you are scared?" Kim pushes, already knowing the answer to that...

"That obvious, huh?" Hailey asks.

"just a little bit" Kim says with a smile.

"With Adam it was fun. It was a great distraction. With Jay its deeper. If something were to happen, it wouldnt just be for fun. Which would mean if it didnt work, someone would get really hurt... and hes the best partner, best friend I have ever had. I just dont know that its worth that risk of losing that". Hailey tries to explain... "I dont really know how to explain it... thats my first time ever admitting all of that out loud. Please dont tell anyone I said any of that."

"I get it... believe me.. I get it... But then theres that chance that it wouldnt go wrong, ya know... because honestly... the way you two look at each other... theres no way you can fight that forever...and you two... you are special. The way you respect and support each other as detectives, as people... I dont know Hailey.. you two are right for each other..."

Hailey grabs her phone, and light heartedly tries to change the subject and focus on something else. She knows Kim is right. The "What if's" scare her to death though.

"I want some ice cream...You want any?" she asks, hoping KIm will stop pressing her about her partner...

"Oooooooh, definitely" Kim replies.

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Its been two full weeks since the accident. Jay hasnt been over much since that day. Each time he stops by Hailey always has someone else there or some appointment to go to. He's starting to get the idea that she just doesnt want him around.. When he sees her walk into the bullpen his eyes light up.

"Oh my goodness look who it is" he says, as she sits down at her desk.

"Welcome back Upton!" Kev says walking to his seat.

Everyone is so happy to have her back. Even more so, she is happy to be back. She has been bored to death at home these last several days.

"Alright everyone, lets all welcome Upton back to the unit... She is going to be on desk duty for a few weeks, but we are so happy to have her back with us" says Voight addressing the unit. "Kim, you had something?" He signals to Kim to come up there and present the new lead she got on a case.

"Okay, we know we have four dead in the last week. All died from an overdose of Heroin laced with fentanyl. Evonne Wilson- a CI of mine told me last night that there is a huge drug smuggling operation going down inside of Elite Nail Salon. Apparently they are bringing in the drugs from Mexico, and women are going in there placing their orders and doing their deals at the salon. No one would typically suspect it, but my CI says its been going down for a while. I think we need to get someone in there to bust them, as soon as possible before anyone else drops" Kim says, putting some pictures on the board for the unit. "This is Jasmine Sanchez. I arrested her brother six months ago for dealing. She works at the salon and she knows who I am. So it cannot be me that goes in."

"Okay, so we will find someone else to put under" Hank says.

Semi interrupting Voight, Hailey speaks up. "I will do it"

"Absolutely not" says Jay.

"No. I will do it. I am capable of going in and getting my nails done and talking business. I can handle this." Hailey says.

"Halstead is right, its too soon. I dont feel comfortable putting you in a dangerous situation just yet. It is not worth the risk when you arent 100%" says Voight.

If looks could kill, the look Hailey gives Jay would certainly do some damage.

"I'll talk to Trudy, I'm sure she would be willing to help out with this one" Kim says.

The bust goes down without any issues. They are able to bring the ladies in without a fight. They will use them to get to the gang thats bringing in the bad drugs. It's been a nice successful day in Intelligence... Unless you count how angry Hailey now is with Jay of course... The unit heads home for the evening, half of them going to Molly's to celebrate the success of the day.

Hailey decides to head straight home. She is mad and Jay knows it.

She hears the knock at the door and knows right away that its him.

"Here we go" she says before opening the door.

"we need to talk" he says. "i know you are mad, but i cant sit back and let you make impulsive decisions like that"

"What the hell Jay. You know I can do that. That was a simple job... how dare you undermind me like that in front of everyone" She says, letting out her frustration with him.

"Hailey I just watched you almost bleed to death in the street, not even a month ago. You are not ready, there is no way". He argues back.

"You dont even know what I'm ready for, we have barely even seen each other in two weeks Jay"

"Well thats not my fault. I have been trying to come around. You are the one that has shut me out, so dont even try to blame that on me" Jay says, starting to get irritated. "I still dont even know what that has been about, what on earth did I do to you?"

"THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE JAY THIS IS WHY I HAVENT LET YOU AROUND. PLATT WAS RIGHT" Hailey yells.

"WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT"? Jay yells back.

"THIS! US JAY, US! I heard you that night. I remember what you said. 'I always want to kiss you too'. That scares me to death. That cant happen Jay. Because of this! I ended things with Adam because of how hard it is to do the job we do and be romantically involved with someone at work. Emotions get in the way and people try to prevent other people from doing their job. Just like they did today. Platt told me how hard it would be to have a successful relationship with someone at work, and if anything today just proved it right, and we arent even in a relationship."

"What happened today had nothing to do with my feelings for you. What happened today was me being your PARTNER. That was all there was to it. I am your partner Hailey. When we are at work, I am your PARTNER. It is my job to have your back. To protect you when I need to. I will do that every single time no matter what. You arent cleared from your doctor yet. Until you are I will fight it every single time when you try to put yourself in danger." Jay says. "As far as what Platt said... I guess thats a conversation for a different day".. he says while heading to leave.

"No, not a different day. I wanna hear it. What do you have to say Jay? What now?" Hailey asks.

"I just cant believe you would try to push me away because of something Platt said... and why? Because you are what... scared?" He says.

"Of course I'm scared Jay. You arent just my partner, you are my best friend. It isnt worth the risk" She says, backing away from him. "I had to push you away Jay. Before we do something we cant take back... and like I said... We cant let emotions get in the way of us doing our job. So this cant happen... and thats the end of discussion.. Anyways.. you should go. I'm going to bed, its been a long day".

He stands there for a minute, processing everything that was just said before following her to her room.

"I'm not done talking Hailey". He says. "Emotions have never, ever got in the way of us doing our job. I already told you, today was not about emotions"

"I dont believe that" she says.

The lack of distance between them is making her nervous.

"We have been partners for over two years now Hailey... and I've trusted you and defended you, had your back and believed in you to be the amazing detective that you are... I've never tried to hold you back, never... so what you are saying is incorrect.." He says.

"How does any of that make it incorrect? That was then and this is now" she argues.

"Really Hailey? Because I've been in love with you for at least half of it! But whatever Hailey. Keep fighting it, keep pushing me away" He was just about to turn and walk away when he noticed a tear fall from her eyes and changes his mind.

He closes the distance between them, looking her in the eyes in a very "its your turn to make a move" kind of way.

She decides right then and there that she cant fight it any longer. She grabs him and smooshes his face into hers, passionately kissing him like shes wanted to do for so long. He gently lays her down on the bed while kissing her, both of them unleashing everything they have held back.

He pulls away for a moment and says "Does this mean I can sleep in the bed tonight, instead of the couch?"

"oh you are never sleeping on the couch again" She laughs as they get back to it...

After a few hours of taking their relationship to the next level she begins to fall asleep with her head on his chest.

"Hey Jay" She softly says, fighting the urge to sleep... "Are you sure we can handle this?"

"I'm sure" He says confidently, before kissing her on the forehead. He isn't sure what tomorrow will bring, but he knows with her by his side, they can handle anything.

_**Thank you all so much for the sweet reviews. Totally realized after initially posting this that i attached the wrong version. all fixed! I read every one of them and appreciate them so much. I look forward to writing their relationship as it grows and really look forward to the next chapter. 3 **_


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